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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26591698">Giving up on titles part 2</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeehaw_miu/pseuds/yeehaw_miu'>yeehaw_miu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Hikawa Sayo-centric, Hurt No Comfort, Internal Monologue, Internalized Homophobia, Mentioned Hikawa Hina, Mentioned Roselia (BanG Dream!), OOC Tsugumi Hazawa, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:33:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26591698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeehaw_miu/pseuds/yeehaw_miu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One could say that Sayo Hikawa is suffering from an issue about how she feels toward a certain brunette. </p><p>In short: this is angsty and CW for internalized homophobia</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hazawa Tsugumi/Hikawa Sayo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Giving up on titles part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was something I made a while ago, that I thought you all might hopefully like.</p><p>Additionally, I might make an actual ending for this fanfic one day. Maybe.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All good things must come to an end, right? That's at least what Sayo Hikawa has heard from others, well at least in a couple of conversations she just so happened to have overheard. Though it was something that was often told when something like a breakup happened. Still, it can apply to any situation, by the looks of it. After all, there's plenty of things that are considered good that aren't relationship-based. Oh well, that quote probably won't be too important for her to really care about so she left it at that upon last hearing about it.</p><p> </p><p> At least that's what she thought of right up until now.</p><p> </p><p>To be honest, she was in quite a predicament with some things that rather confused her. At least to the rather reserved girl, it seemed confusing. </p><p> </p><p>It all started when she had decided to join a baking class in a cafe that just so happened to belong to the family of Tsugumi Hazawa. </p><p> </p><p>She knew about the brunette before that certain event, of course. After all, Hina had mentioned her from time to time when describing her work as the president of the student council for Hanekoa. By the looks of it, Hazawa was rather hard-working considering how she was the vice president of the place. To be honest, it was rather admirable in a way despite having never really interacting with Hazawa before signing up for the class.</p><p> </p><p>As for the class, it was a bit of an eye-opener for her and in a way, the guitarist became friends with Afterglow's keyboardist. Well, more like they became friends but Sayo was somewhat hesitant to really call her and Hazawa friends. It was rather strange in a way since she hadn't been this hesitant to really call others as her friends. Was that normal? She wasn't too sure, to be honest. After all, she was considered lonely in her middle school years and for her first year of high school. Or maybe it was because Hazawa was someone that Sayo rather admired or perhaps even the fact that Hazawa and Hina were both on the student council. So really, she just had to at least assume this was normal for others as well. </p><p> </p><p>After that rather confusing road of wondering if Hazawa was a friend of hers, they began to hang out together. At first, it was in more public places, like the Yamabuki bakery or generally around the shopping district. It was most likely because Hazawa was most familiar with it considering how her family did own a cafe. As time progressed, they had more often than not had some coffee in the cafe, which what Sayo supposed was a more private place in a way. Especially considering the fact that Hazawa worked here rather often. Needless to say, the guitarist rather enjoyed those conversations. After all, both her and the keyboardist could seem to talk about anything and everything. She also happened to remember some small details about the other overtime like the fact that Hazawa seemed to dislike black coffee and rather enjoyed making others happy, regardless of the fact that the brown-haired girl shrugged it off as just something an average person would do.  However, it was far from normal in a way as ordinary people wouldn't work onto the brink of hospitalization from what she heard from the other members of Afterglow. Besides, Hazawa was rather optimistic towards things as well. No ordinary person would really be too optimistic about things, right?</p><p> </p><p>Back to the topic of the places they both hung out in, it seemed that only yesterday that Hazawa had invited her to her house when in reality, it had been around two months ago when this started. It was most likely because it seemed that time passed rather quickly when Sayo was with the keyboardist. Like, around her it could feel like only a couple of minutes had passed when in reality, it had been a couple of hours. Additionally, she always thought that Hazawa was rather attractive in a way. But like in a normal way since that is what friends feel, right? Even if it wasn't normal, that didn't mean anything! After all, that's something that isn't normal for the guitarist. Besides, it would ruin the perfect image she attempts to carry towards the brown-haired girl! Or maybe she might get compared to her younger twin by the other. That's always a possibility considering how most people in her past did so as well, despite the differences between them. </p><p> </p><p>She would then sigh in frustration as she then laid down on the bed she was currently sitting on. There wasn't anything wrong with what she felt towards Hazawa, right? Like, there certainly wasn't anything wrong with seeing her fellow band members possibly being in relationships with each other. She had seen how Ako had looked at Shirokane and how Minato and Iami seemed rather close, even for best friends, and hadn't really judged them. So she wasn't homophobic but why did she suppress the fact that maybe, just maybe, she likes Hazawa in that way? No, it certainly can't be that. </p><p> </p><p>Luckily for her, it seemed as though that her train of thought was interrupted before she could overthink something that could be quite simple. She does have a tendency to do that most of the time. What interrupted her was a hand that seemed to wave near her face. As her eyes glanced over to the owner of the hand, she realized that she had forgotten that she was currently in Hazawa's place. More specifically, in Hazawa's bedroom. It was normal for them to talk in this rather familiar place so she wasn't too anxious about being here.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, hello there, Hazawa. May I ask why you were waving your hand near my face? After all, I wasn't focused on anything at the moment." Yeah, that was a fucking lie. </p><p> </p><p>"Well, I just thought you seemed rather zoned out by the look of your face. I'm sure that you do that when you're focused on something so I thought it would be hard for you to snap out of it. Heck, I even called you in an attempt to snap you out of it."</p><p> </p><p>"You did? I guess I was too focused on something in that case," Sayo would then laugh, just a little bit. Now did it make any sense to laugh? Not really but she just felt like she should at least laugh. Now, it was time to at least get somewhat serious with asking a question on her mind. "I have a question for you and you don't have to answer if you don't want to. After all, I respect that, Hazawa." </p><p> </p><p>"Oh, was that funny to you? Well, that's a good thing! As for your question, it can't hurt to at least shoot your shot, I suppose." By the looks of it, it seemed as though Hazawa most likely didn't expect that she would be asked a question of some sort. However, she did seem alright with answering it and that's what matters. </p><p> </p><p>"In your opinion, do you think Hina and I are the same people?" There, that was the bomb that would most likely cause some destruction in this friendship one way or another. After all, most people probably don't ask those sorts of questions, maybe. She's still rather unsure about what is considered normal. Additionally, by the looks of it, Hazawa seemed rather hesitant to really answer the question. Maybe she was trying to let down Sayo in a respectful way or say that she actually thought they are the same person personality-wise. Or could that just be some sort of paranoia? She can't really tell at this point.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, " the other girl began as she seemed to lean in closer towards Sayo, "you both are two different people. Like, you're more serious personality-wise while Hina is more, how do I say this? She's more like a wild horse or something!" Gah, why was Hazawa so close? What exactly did she have planned? Maybe it was in an attempt to get Sayo to blush? If it was, then, the attempt clearly worked as her face was just a bit flustered. But like, that was because she isn't too used to someone being so close to her! Besides, it was most likely something normal for anyone to get flustered by this. With that being said she would then continue to look on as Hazawa spoke again.</p><p> </p><p>"Besides, you both have some differences appearance-wise as well. Like, your hair is longer as compared to Hina's and it's prettier in its own way! You're also taller than Hina, so of course, you two aren't different people, " Hazawa seemed to let out a rather large grin after saying that and pinching Sayo's checks. </p><p> </p><p>Why was Hazawa doing this? Maybe it was because Hazawa thought that could make her feel better? Or maybe it was something else. Either way, it was just a friendly gesture even if there was a chance that it wasn't. Besides, it's not Hazawa actually liked her in that way since there definitely were better people for her to pursue. After all, there was the rest of Afterglow and not to mention, others like Hina who were definitely much better than the guitarist in many ways. They were actually comfortable with who they were and most likely didn't overthink in these situations unlike her. </p><p> </p><p>Had Hazawa gotten closer to her face or was that just her imagination? By the looks of it, maybe it wasn't her imagination. After all, Sayo could almost hear how Hazawa seemed to breathe in a rather quick and shallow pace. Maybe it was from some form of stress? After all, people tend to do that in certain situations. Could it have been from the question that she asked or was that just from general nervousness? She wasn't too sure as she couldn't read minds.</p><p> </p><p>"Sayo, did you hear anything about what I said? It's just that you seemed to be really distracted from when I leaned towards you. Gah, don't tell me I made you uncomfortable!" </p><p> </p><p>"Oh…" was the first thing that Sayo could really get out. She didn't mean to ignore Hazawa but it just was that she had gotten distracted by her own thoughts again. "I was listening to you, I just...got distracted." </p><p> </p><p>She would once again pause as to mentally prepare herself to ask a question she often wondered in the middle of the night. After all, she felt as though she could really ask anything around Hazawa. Maybe it was because she felt as though she could keep her walls down and be vulnerable around the other.  </p><p> </p><p>"If you don't mind answering this, how do you exactly feel about me? I'm just wondering since I felt curious about it." She noticed how the brunette's eyes widened in surprise. So that certainly wasn't anything she expected from the other. With that being said, Sayo had already prepared herself for any form of rejection from the other as she felt that was the most likely reaction to the whole question. Still, this was something that she first brought up so whatever happened was her fault alone. </p><p> </p><p>"Well, " Hazawa began with. Sayo's heart seemed to almost skip a beat out of some sort of nervousness over this whole thing. Come on, get it together, Sayo! Hazawa hasn't even said anything yet. But why was she so nervous about this? "I think you're really cool and you're just so great that I can't help but think that well, how do I say this? I think I like you in more than just a normal, friendly way, Sayo!" </p><p> </p><p>Did Hazawa say what Sayo thought she said? Maybe but that could be wishful thinking. Still, this wasn't a dream so does that mean Hazawa really liked her in that sort of way? If it did then should Sayo possibly ruin that perfect image to talk about how she felt towards the other? No, she couldn't possibly do that. After all, it would mean that everyone else would find out about how despite how she acted, she wasn't someone who others could deem as a serious and proper person. It would also mean that those people had a thing to compare the older twin to. She couldn't possibly handle that. </p><p> </p><p>"I- Hazawa…" was all she could really muster before she felt those tears streaming down her face. Why did someone as great as Hazawa decide to love her when there were much better options? The brunette could have chosen anyone but for some crazy reason, she chose Sayo. Why? Just, why? She then found herself on top of Hazawa those tears continue down her face before getting off of the other girl.</p><p>
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</p><p>"I have to go now. Sorry."</p><p> </p><p>Those were her final words to Hazawa before getting off and beginning to leave. Well, more like she began to run away from the place.</p><p> </p><p>Why was she so stupid to just run away from someone that just so happened to like her back? Shouldn't she be happy instead? No, she just can't be happy with telling Tsugumi that. After all, even if Tsugumi did like her in that way, she still doubted that anyone could even love her. Sure her phone was vibrating with notifications most likely going off but fuck it, she didn't care. She just couldn't care at the moment. After all, she was unlovable for even thinking about Tsugumi in <em> that </em> sort of way. </p><p> </p><p>Oh well, all good things must come to an end and she understood that. And it was all her fault, right?</p><p> </p><p>At least that's what she thought as she ran away from her feelings once again. </p><p>
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